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A Day in the Life

In Purgatory: The Daily Life of a Bulimic is up on

An excerpt…

Before I went to treatment, my days were very simple. Start each morning on the scale. Eat a small breakfast and try to keep it down. Because maybe today will be different, maybe today the cycle won't begin again. But by noon I rush home for lunch. Weigh myself, eat, weigh myself, throw up, repeat if there is time.

Back at work, I try not to eat in the afternoon. I don't want to be caught vomiting at the office, but sometimes it's inevitable. After work I go straight to the gym and exercise for two to three hours. Pick up food on the way home. Spend the rest of the night trying not to eat, inevitably eating, then throwing up.

I continue until I'm too sore and raw to go on. Finally I take a sleeping pill and lay in bed listening to my heart, wondering if it will give up, scared yet hopeful.