Many of us have real problems setting personal boundaries, with others, ourselves, and yes, an eating disorder!
Here are a few things I have learned along the way in my own recovery, that have proven to be true and helpful....
**Establishing boundaries helps to keep you safe. Others know they cannot take advantage of you. Your messages are clear. We have a right and a duty to protect ourselves!
**If you don't set boundaries, you could be giving yourself away. YOU are in control of how much you give, and also how much you keep of yourself for yourself.
**Setting boundaries with others can actually help THEM grow. It helps to make them conscious of their own behaviors which may allow them to change as well.
**Setting boundaries may allow you to get more of what YOU want and less of what you don't. You can protect yourself from unwanted behaviors, and encourage the behaviors that will empower you.
**Effective people set boundaries. You are more in control of your time and efforts, and this can greatly increase the positive feelings you have about yourself.
**Stand up for yourself-don't back down! In order for this to work for you, you must develop a commitment to uphold what is right and true for YOU. Be consistent!
**Practice makes perfect! This is new behavior, and it will FEEL awkward, and maybe not GOOD, but the more you practice it and experience the rewards, the better it will FEEL. It will become more automatic and comfortable in time.
Some examples of personal boundaries:
People may NOT:
**Criticize me.
**Humiliate me.
**Invade my personal space or belongings.
**Lie to me.
**Make derogatory comments about my appearance.
**Take advantage of me.
**Take their anger or frustration out on me.
Put this into practice and see how it affect the relationships you have with those around you, and with yourself!
Jan ?
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