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A Letter to Little Me

I tried to write this post over and over again, but I always reverted back to one of my all-time favorite songs of Pink.

I have been a fan of her since her very first song, have seen her in concert (which was on of the best concerts I’ve ever had the pleasure to see and I’ve been to uncountable ones) and am in awe of her voice and work.

Pink has carried me through many dark, dark years and I could always relate to her music because her family issues, her struggles, her lyrics hit so close to home.

Her songs remain the most played songs ever in my playlist and I don’t think this will ever change. I must have listened to “Conversations with my 13 Year Old Self” thousands of times sobbing uncontrollably.

Since I am not as genius with words as Pink is, I am just going to post the lyrics, with the disclaimer that reading them rips my heart out because it feels like I was the one putting all of that on page.

You’re angry
I know this
The world couldn’t care less
You’re lonely
I feel this
And you wish you were the best
No teachers
Or guidance
And you always walk alone
You’re crying
At night when
Nobody else is home

Come over here and let me hold your hand and hug you darling
I promise you that it won’t always feel this bad
There are so many things I want to say to you
You’re the girl I used to be
You little heartbroken thirteen year old me

You’re laughing
But you’re hiding
God I know that trick too well
You forget
That I’ve been you
And now I’m just the shell
I promise
I love you and
Everything will work out fine
Don’t try to
Grow up yet
Oh just give it some time

The pain you feel is real you’re not asleep but it’s a nightmare
But you can wake up anytime
Oh don’t lose your passion or the fighter that’s inside of you
You’re the girl I used to be
The pissed off complicated thirteen year old me

Until we meet again
I wish you well
Little girl

It’s not like I was a rebellious kid or my parents were always absent, but I feel the pain of fighting all alone, without hope, pretending you’re fine when you are anything but that.

I so wish I could have reached out to my little me and given her the love, encouragement, hope and SAFETY she so desperately needed.

I wish I could have held her, comforted her and told her that one day, she’ll have am incredible husband, the love of my life obviously, TRUE friends and a purpose in life.

I wish I could have told her to not give up on herself and keep going strong because the future would be full of love, laughter, excitement and a community of people who love her for who she is.

I wish I could have told her that she is changing people’s lives in the small way she can, but that her life will not go by completely unnoticed.

I wish I could have told her that soon, I’d have soul-mates like Winnie, Maggie, who are so similar to how I think and share the same interests.

I wish I could have told her that through Lost, I’d make friends all around the world who have gone on more than one adventure with me and who will forever my near and dear to my heart. The list of names would be too long to mention here, but you know who you are!

I wish I could have told her that through blogging I’d get to know incredible souls like Bernando Medez or Farnoosh Brock (who I share sometimes spookily many similarities with…).

That’s what I’d have written in a letter to my little me.  But I can’t compete with Pink, which is why her words are far more powerful than my own.

A Letter to Little Me is a post from: Fighting Anorexia