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You can’t help but notice that summer is fast approaching. People are shedding their sweaters and winter coats, throwing their scarfs and hats in that box, and saying see ya later to that temperature that likes to give us colds.

It’s exciting when summer approaches, but for most women, we know that as the temperature rises so does our awareness of our bodies. We can’t help but hear that music from Jaws ,nnnuh…nnnuh..nnnuh, as we walk into department stores. Smacking us upside the face and attacking us are racks and racks of bathing suits, and they usually don’t have anything friendly to say.


As a matter of fact because of the summer solstice taking center stage,women start to feel the urge to diet and exercise more. We take on this feeling that the world is just one big swimsuit pageant and all of a sudden we are being judged.


Here is what doesn’t help.The mannequins in the store window and the models we see sporting the spandex are a dyslexic version of what the female body should look like. As a matter of fact they just busted H&M for not even using real models to advertise their bathing suits. They are computer generated zigabytes of unrealistic hoo hah.

All those soaking wet sexy women on the cover of Maxim and Playboy aren’t selling swimsuits they are selling sex, The  photo shoot they did to do that probably took hours to shoot, and then went to the printers for hours of airbrushing.

Still though, women feel that pull to want to look better when they go to the pool and the beach. We feel the extreme pressure to be tight, toned, and tanned. We aren’t competing against anybody other than ourselves. We are our own worst critics.


It’s also very amazing to me to see how regions effect various women. The higher your status and the wealthier a woman is seems to be almost a curse. In upstate New York woman are going as far as having high-tech treatments, fat freezing lasers, cosmetic surgery to have outie belly buttons turned into an innie, and “rapid recovery” breast implants are on the rise. Some of these procedures can cost an estimated 15,000 dollars for a one hour session. It looks like if you are going to spend the summer in the Hamptons, your going to have to spend some serious cash.

I suppose we have nobody else to blame then French engineer Louis Reard who in 1946 invented the first bikini. He named it after Bikini Atoll in the Pacific which was the site of an atomic bomb test. Well I think since then another atomic bomb slowly exploded as each decade the bikini got smaller and smaller, and women’s body image issues became higher and higher. Thanks Loui!!


We all remember watching Mrs America competitions where women had to one by one parade down a runway in a bathing suit. I could see the look of terror behind their phony smiles. To me that would be one of the worst feelings in the world, standing there being judged on how my body looks.


I guarantee you those women all sacrificed many a meal, sucked out many a fat cell, and sat hours through a spin class for that 3 minutes of TV time.

Let me ask you this. How many Miss America’s, or Miss USA’s, or Miss Universe’s do you think are remembered for the way their bodies looked in that bikini?  I know I don’t remember it. They are remembered for their actions, what they did with their title and their crown. People rarely even remember what they looked like half-naked, unless they happened to be caught on a strip-pole during Spring Break by TMZ.

Ok..Ok…this is all true, but that still doesn’t help us when we are faced with facing the bikini aisle…I mean what is a girl to do when we are suddenly asked to bare our skin, show our legs, and put our asses on display memorial day weekend?


I mean so many of us try to cover our bodies up and hide it, and we curse the fact we can’t wear our sweatpants all day.


So hey don’t go away…stay hooked for my next blog, and I’ll give you some tips on how I ,and a lot of other women have managed to make it through Bikini-gheddon.



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