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I Can’t Believe That I…

I can’t believe that I graduated after all.

I can’t believe that I’ve lived in the US twice.

I can’t believe I survived my childhood.

I can’t believe I (almost) beat anorexia.

I can’t believe I can eat a Snickers bar or two without feeling like I have to kill myself.

I can’t believe that I founded my own company with blogs, podcasts and my own products.

And most of all, I can’t believe that I have so many loving, kind, compassionate and strong listeners and readers who so graciously walk this way with me as they are walking their own difficult path.

Struggling to regain control over your life is hard (which is even an understatement). It often feels overwhelming and seemingly undoable, which is why we never try in the first place, right?

Yet, you can develop coping skills. You can learn to live with a belly that isn’t screaming for nutrition. You can still love yourself even if you don’t walk around almost fainting because you’re so malnourished.

A year ago exactly, I had to leave my treatment program for anorexia because I hadn’t gained enough weight in 4 weeks. I was devastated, of course, and they relocated to a new ward. I was suicidal and at a very low point. I felt like I could never go on and live again. In fact, I didn’t want to make changes anymore, it was all too much for me.

But then I reminded myself of my goals and I started to fight again.

When I looked back now at those weeks, I shudder with agony for the girl I was and what I went through. BUT it was ALL  worth it.

Why? Because today I am alive. I am healthy. I am happy. I love fully. I give graciously and I full of purpose.

And I am surrounded by YOU.

I can’t believe I am at the point I am at, but I have earned my every step towards this place.


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I Can’t Believe That I… is a post from: Fighting Anorexia