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Tips and boundaries on sponsoring a woman with an eating disorder

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When someone asks you to Sponsor them it means
they see something in your recovery that they want themselves. Therefore I
always consider it an honor when a woman asks me to Sponsor her in her eating
disorder recovery
. Sponsoring requires a commitment of giving time and energy. Over
the years I have made some mistakes as a Sponsor. Learning from my mistakes I
have learned that setting up the proper foundation and boundaries is pivotal to
both my own and my Sponsee’s recovery. Today I’d like to share how I approach the
Sponsor/Sponsee relationship.

1st– Email – I give the Sponsee my
email address and ask them to email me what they would like from a sponsor .

2nd– Coffee – At coffee we discuss
the list they have made. I let them know what I can and can not do. For
instance, I let them know, “Yes, I can call you back within 48 hours.” I also
let them know, no I can not help them with their meal plan.

3rd– Sponsorship – Once we are on
the same page and lay out what we each need and want Sponsorship begins.

Below I have laid out what I require of my
Sponsee’s and what I’am willing to give as a Sponsor. I have found these
guidelines to be very helpful in the Sponsoring process.

Your
Job as a Sponsee

·        
WRITE - down what you want in a Sponsor

·        
PICK A DATE- and stick to it (*We
both establish a date)

·        
PICK AN ABSTINENCE- and stick to it
(*We both establish an abstinence)

·        
WORK- the steps

My
Job as a Sponsor

·        
I HELP YOU apply the steps to your
life

·        
MEETING UP- I do not set up regular
times to meet with Sponsee’s. When you have worked a step/tradition you call me
and we set up a time to meet and work the step/tradition

·        
PHONE CALLS – You may want to call
in at a certain time and that's fine.  If you need me to call
you back then you need to say in your message, “I need you to call me back.” Long voice mails should not be
necessary each day.  

If you are going to call me and
leave me a message I need you to include:

1.)  
Whatever it is you’re struggling
with

2.)    Tell me how you are feeling
(the emotion)

3.)    Three things you’re grateful
for

4.)    What you are doing for
someone elses recovery today

·        
MY
RULES:

1.)     Must go to meetings

2.)     Must work steps

3.)    Must take meds as prescribed