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WEIGHTING TO BE PERFECT PART 1 | WEIGHT OBSESSION

I want you to take a moment out of your day to think of somebody. Quick..who’s the first person that comes to mind? It could be a close friend, co-worker, famous person on TV, the guy who asks you if you want “paper or plastic” at your local grocery store, I don’t care. When you think of that person, is the [...]

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I want you to take a moment out of your day to think of somebody. Quick..who’s the first person that comes to mind? It could be a close friend, co-worker, famous person on TV, the guy who asks you if you want “paper or plastic” at your local grocery store, I don’t care.

When you think of that person, is the first thing that comes to your mind  a number? Let me be more specific: the exact number they are if they were to step on any ordinary bathroom scale. No, seriously follow me on this one. Do you love them because of this number, hate them because of this number,value them anymore or less of a person because of what their raw bones, muscles, and skin adds up to be?

I know it’s an odd question, but for years and years I valued myself, and based what my day was going to be like on three little numbers, which over the years became two little numbers, and in all honestly I think that, at the rate I was going, there would have been a day where  I would have achieved a one digit number. It would have been the day an urn full of my ashes would have been placed on that ridiculous little scale.

When we come into this world, one of the first things that we are labeled with is our weight. You are a boy or girl, and you weigh … in my case 7 lbs. 11 oz. At that point, that’s all we really are. Nobody knows if we are funny, smart, like blueberries, hate PE class, love math, are allergic to milk, like to play with dolls, climb trees, or are going to be President of the United States.  As important as the weight on our birth certificate seems, it stops mattering the second we see the world and say, with our first smile, “here I am.”

The Beginning of Weight Obsession

As children we don’t keep track of our weight.  For the life of me, I couldn’t tell you what I weighed from my first week to my 13th year. I didn’t care! I was too concerned with barbie dolls and dresses that twirled. I was far more interested in casting  and directing myself and my little sisters in elaborate plays for my grandparents’ entertainment. I was into roller skates with a stripe up the side, jelly shoes, Rubik’s Cubes, MTV,  Guess jeans pegged at the bottom, and anything and everything having to do with 21 Jump Street.

It wasn’t until later on in my life, when I began the diet game, that my weight obsession began. Suddenly my passions in life became replaced with time spent calculating calories and reading diet magazines. I lost my lust for life, and poured it into a little square box that would, for the next 17 years, determine my identity.

I saw myself as a number and if I wasn’t the number I wanted then I was devastated. My life revolved around those numbers, and they were never low enough. I hated that number, but it was like a tattoo right in the middle of my forehead, and for some dumb reason I seriously thought the whole world could see it, and that that number would determine whether they liked me or not…

Stay Tuned for Pt. 2 of Weighting To Be Perfect to see how I triumphed over my weight obsession disorder.

 

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