“I could go on and on about why I “became” anorexic, but for now I’ll try to give you the simplest answer I can: Growing up my mother expected a lot from me. I was to be smart, beautiful, talented, polite, and the best at absolutely everything. I was pressured to be perfect all the time. When my mother passed away when I was fifteen, to numb out the pain I began dieting which turned into an eating disorder. Ever since puberty I thought I was fat (even though I had always been underweight), so by numbing out the pain with starvation I could kill two birds with one stone,” explains Taryn in her online journal.
According to recent research, genetic factors account for more than half (56 percent) of the risk of developing anorexia nervosa. Other factors include, age, brain maturation, stress levels, and societal and family factors.
Persons with anorexia are often perfectionistic. As unrealistic high expectations create stress, low self esteem, and loss of control, anorexics turn to restrictive eating as a way to feel "in control." Highly ritualized eating patterns and extreme fear of fat is common, as is high achievement motivation and social withdrawal.
“People believe anorexia (or any other type of eating disorder) is a choice. But it was not a choice. I chose to diet, but I did not choose to become addicted to dieting. As the disorder progressed, I used it for more and more things in my life to fill the void I had inside. It was always there for me, and I could lean on it whenever I needed to, even though I knew there were health consequences,” explains another person who struggled with anorexia for several years.
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