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Hi Sophia....thank you for
Hi Sophia....thank you for sharing. The reason that you are now so obsessed with food and have begun to binge eat is that your body and mind have been starved by not eating during the anorexia phase. This is common for people who restrict their food intake, if they don't get help to recover. But you CAN get help! Please seek the help of an ED therapist and a good doctor who can do some medical assessment to make sure that your body has not been damaged. Please get help! You can recover from this and be free!!
http://freefromexpectations.blogspot.com/
Thank you for your help, I
Thank you for your help, I have also read your blog and found it quite inspirational. I can only hope for a time in the future when food will be a normal part of my life, when I don't obsessively count every calorie I put in my mouth. I thought that since I had started to eat more food that I wouldn't need to carry on seeing a therapist, but when I think about it, even now when I eat a lot more I still can't get out of the habit of counting calories, and I am still deeply uncomfortable with the idea of putting on weight even though I know that it is essential for my health and that I don't look good at my current weight. I put on 4 pounds over christmas... when I began my recovery in the summer, I wanted to put on a stone before Christmas- I didn't put on any weight at all, even though I was eating a bit more. So Christmas was the time when I 'allowed' myself to eat what I wanted... and I started to binge eat. Since I began my recovery I have had several binge eating episodes where I had a day when I was 'allowed' as much food as I wanted and didn't count the calories, but these became more regular and uncontrollable over Christmas. This terrifies me. I have never felt so out of control and ashamed at myself, and to be honest I feel like a failure for not being able to sustain the amount of control I had over food. I don't see how this will improve, but I know that I need to keep on getting help, and that though I am on the road to recovery, I am not quite there yet! I just wanted to know if binge eating and feeling constantly hungry was common amongst recovering anorexia sufferers- I feel like such a freak, I just want food to be a normal part of life just like it is for everyone else.
What you describe happens to
What you describe happens to many people when you don't get professional help. An eating disorder can change in terms of symptoms and presentation over time, without treatment to recovery. Please seek help. Trying to do this alone will likely only lead to added frustration and bad feelings about yourself. You deserve to get help!!
You CAN recovery, but professional help is mandatory for full recovery.....good luck!!
http://freefromexpectations.blogspot.com/