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I am bulimic in sporadic phases of my life and I hate it. I always feel shame after I make myself throw up when I used to feel relief. Whenever I'm anxious, bored, or lonley its what I resort to. I want to get over this by myself, how can I?

Comments

An eating disorder always has

An eating disorder always has an underlying emotional component. It is a true mental illness, but one that you can recover from...but not without professional help. This is very complex, and continuing to believe that it's your responsibility to 'cure' yourself could lead to even more damage to your body.
Please seek professional help. It will be a gift to yourself and to those who care about you!!

http://freefromexpectations.blogspot.com/

I tend to disagree. I believe

I tend to disagree. I believe I can get over it myself. What kind of emotional issues?

An eating disorder is truly

An eating disorder is truly about a need to control emotions and a need to control your weight. If you believe you can overcome this yourself, why don't you?
I think you would be doing yourself a big favor by seeking out some professional help. An eating disorder can be damaging and often fatal, and I hope you are able to recover before you are damaged permanently.
Take care.

http://freefromexpectations.blogspot.com/

Hi Jcole2, Unfortunately, you

Hi Jcole2,

Unfortunately, you cannot get over it yourself and you should not try too. You would benefit greatly from professional help. You should not feel shame! You have an eating disorder that can make you feel several different negative emotions.

Do not be so hard on yourself just accept the problem and get help! Your life is worth so much more than you allow yourself to believe! When you are feeling anxious, ask yourself “Why am I anxious?” You may find a clue to the underlying problem in the answer. When you are bored or lonely get out in the world and do something, fun you are allowed to have fun and to live!

Most importantly please make an appointment with a therapist preferably one that specialized in eating disorders it may take some time but you can be completely whole and well again!

Hi again, I want to keep in

Hi again,
I want to keep in touch about this because I really want to track my progress or lack thereof. I've been sober from vomitting for almost 2 weeks now and thats the most I've gone at a steady rate for at least the last couple months. Before that, it was usually a week or less.
Just because I've gone nearly 2 weeks, doesn't mean I haven't thought about it. I discovere that sometimes when I'm full, I feel like I look unnattractive and "fat". My confidence decreases somewhat and it consumes my thought so that it is hard to focus on anything else, say my job, or other things I need to get done.
I would say that part of the reason I've been able to go this long is because I'm finding much moe security than I've been used to in my job, and my love life has also changed dramatically within the last 2 weeks, not necessarily in a good way, just a very different way.
I believe that maybe these changes have lead to me having better impulse control over my desire to throw up. Maybe not but I don' know.
I know that its still there because I still get thoughts of "Why did I just eat that?" or "It would feel so good to have it out of me right now."
I just want to be normal and not have to look at my disgusting face in the mirror after vommitting because thats when I become ashamed.
The unattractiveness I feel, and the fear that others as well as myself will not find me attractive seems to be a big fear of mine. I'll continue to post and research about this. Any other feedback would be helpful!

It certainly sounds like you

It certainly sounds like you are determined to beat it by yourself. You're doing a great job! All I can offer aside from my last post is not to be too hard on yourself if you "slip up" just keep moving forward. You can do it!

Perhaps you could begin to

Perhaps you could begin to think about how you FEEL when you begin to focus on food or weight? This is truly the key to moving through recovery....coping in new ways that aren't harmful.
You are obviously more aware of what is going on, but please don't give up on looking for professional help! Recovery isn't about being strong or having enough motivation. If you need resources, please refer to those on this site, or check out others by
Googling eating disorder treatment....take care ?

http://freefromexpectations.blogspot.com/