The information provided on EatingDisordersOnline.com is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between a patient/site visitor and his/her health professional. This information is solely for informational and educational purposes and we encourage all visitors to see a licensed physician if they believe that they have an eating disorder. The publication of this information does not constitute the practice of medicine, and this information does not replace the advice of your physician or other health care provider. Neither the owners or employees of EatingDisordersOnline.com nor the author(s) of site content take responsibility for any possible consequences from any treatment, procedure, exercise, dietary modification, action or application of medication which results from reading this site. Always speak with your primary health care provider before engaging in any form of self treatment. Please see our Legal Statement for further information.
Hi: This is a very difficult
Hi:
This is a very difficult position to be in as a parent. It has to be extremely worrying for you to receive information via the roommate, on what is happening regarding your daughter's struggle with an eating disorder while she is away at college.
Although your daughter turned down your offer of assistance a few weeks ago - don't give up! She still needs your love and support. An eating disorders is a long-term illness, and sometimes it takes a while for the person to accept that they really do need help.
I would encourage you to avoid getting into a confrontation over the eating disorder itself. As you say, she is in denial right now, so engaging in a power struggle might not be especially productive for either of you.
It is important though, that your daughter knows that you are there for her, and that you do love and care for her. It is perfectly okay to let her know that you are extremely concerned for her wellbeing - this may work better than focusing on just the eating disorder behavior. Sometimes, it helps to involve a third party - such as a doctor or counselor if she is receptive. A supportive friend (possibly the roommate) can also make a huge difference in encouraging the person with an eating disorder to seek help.
Although it is frustrating to watch someone you love suffer from an eating disorder, it is really important that you continue to advocate for your daughter. You also need to take the time to look after your own needs as supporting someone with an eating disorder is especially challenging, and can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.
Joining a support group can provide you with a safe, supportive, and caring group of people who are going through similar situations. There is also some excellent information on the NEDA website regarding starting a discussion with someone who has an eating disorder.
I hope this helps a little. Please take care.
Amy