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How do I break free from a 20 year cycle? I have been skipping meals, going through starvation periods, binge periods, purging periods and periods of fairly average eating for at least 20 years.


I feel the same way right

I feel the same way right now... except I've been having the issues for about 13 years (since age of 10). Right now my family has me staying with them so that they can try and help me, and I have a feeling that I'm going to be sent IP for the first time... my best advice I can give you though is to get some support. You can't do it on your own (if you've had the issues this long then it shows that doing it alone isn't going to work). Being with people that care and can help you and having that support can help a lot. It WILL be frustrating in the beginning, but it helps....

Well, shorti I have to give

Well, shorti I have to give you congrats for turning to your parents for support. I seem to have backed myself into a pretty good corner. I function very well no matter how badly I'm beating myself up and my family other then my husband has no idea how bad I get. My family just thinks I have some odd quirks, not eating in restaurants, not eating in public, being a picky one really sees it as a problem, except for me and only recently. I have some medical issues because of the abuse I've put myself through when it comes to eating. I do so well and then along comes some sort of stress that makes me feel I'm spinning out of control and I fall into the same old routine, I'm afraid one of these days I won't be able to climb back out.

I know excatly how you feel.

I know excatly how you feel. I am the same way too. the parents I'm talking about are not my birth parents either.. my birth parents have been clueless the whole time. I play the "picky" eater really well. I don't see them very often and living alone makes falling into the cylces too easy. I let myself go because there is no one there to stop me and I feel like I'm doing perfectly fine even with all the aches and pains and dizziness that come along. It feels like it's worth it. Im can fake feeling good extremely well (I've had a lot of practice). I get really scared lately though because as time goes on the side effects get worse and worse as well, and when you live alone and there's no one there for you it gets scary. I hope that I can get out of this cycle because I know how bad it is for my body and how bad I'm hurting myself, i just don't know how to get out of it all and get better. I'm also scared of getting help and realizing that I need it. I hope that this all can change though. I'm workin on it though. Hope things work out for you too!

Isin't amazing how well we

Isin't amazing how well we can fake it! I set myself up so its so hard for people to see and then get frustrated when they don't. Its not very fair to my family. I'm at the point of wishing I had enough money to go to an inpatient facility for a short while to see if that would help, I can't afford therapy. I turn to self help books and and online things and for a while I feel like I'm strong enough to put up a fight and I journal and cut myself slack and work on not requiring myself to be perfect. Then some sort of stress comes, work, busy kids schedule, fight with the husband...and all of a sudden working on my disorder just becomes to hard and I fall back into it. At this point I'm searching for inexpensive help LOL. eating disorder is eating disorder is very confusing, for those who are suffering, and those who are watching them suffer. I encourage you to seek help at a facility, where you can get the help you need. For most people, they require this in order to recover. A PHP program might be just what you need. IP or RES are more costly, and unless you are medically unstable, it's not necessary in order to get good treatment and recover fully. Please seek help, and fight for what you need!