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I have been chewing and spitting for 4 years now. I went through a period of recovery where I gained 40 pounds. I tried to lose the wieght by exercising but only lost 10lbs. relapsed, can i recover without the weight gain?

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I am really scared to begin

I am really scared to begin the recovery process again because I am about 5'1" and 140 pounds. I basically swallow about 100 calories a day right now and exercise compulsively sometimes up to 3 hours. I do not think i can gain 40 pounds again. I will be huge but I dont want to live like this anymore. Is there any hope for me?

Definitely!! There is always

Definitely!! There is always hope!!
You don't share details about your recovery or the length of your illness, but nevertheless, getting help is critical to preventing permanent health problems or death.
The key to recovery from any eating disorder is initiating a consistent and adequate amount of food intake on a daily basis. Your metabolism may take some time to gear up again, but if you stick with it, it should normalize again. I suggest you seek treatment as soon as possible, and get the help you need to be free from this disorder. The longer you wait, the longer it may take to balance out things with your body, and the chances for damage are increased. If you call the toll-free number on this site, they may be able to direct you to the help you need. Don't give up!!

http://freefromexpectations.blogspot.com/