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Im in recovery for exercise bulimia and anorexia. I have about 10 more pounds to go. My diet was very healthy ( a little orthorexia) and know I started allowing myself to have whatever I want it. But I have icecream and chocolate and pb after every meal


What I think I'm hearing is a

What I think I'm hearing is a question about if your pattern of eating ice cream, chocolate and peanut butter after every meal is "OK", or is it "bad", or "how do I stop?". Because I'm not sure what you are asking, I will give you my perspective on it. First of all, congratulations of the very hard work you have done in recovery!! I wish you health and joy beyond your imagination!!
As you realize, when you have an eating disorder, you also have your own rules and routines about what is "good", "right", etc., especially in terms of food and eating. I have found in my own recovery from over 35 years of anorexia, that is't vitally important that you break free from the rules and the obsessional thinking that is associated with your eating disorder. In doing this, it's important that you don't restrict what foods you eat, and that you are able to see all foods as "OK", and not deprive yourself of certain foods. The "healthy food" thinking is one of the most dangerous. It's great to want to give your body good foods, but when it turns on you, and you are in the grips of an eating disorder, what is the most UN-healthy?....eating ice cream, chocolate, and peanut butter, or dying? I view recovery as having NO food rules, and not depriving myself of any foods that I want. If I begin to put limits on certain foods, then I am setting myself up to once again fall into the depths of an eating disorder.
I think at this point in your recovery, while you still have several more pounds to gain, it would be good to start thinking in a different way about food. ANY food is OK in moderation. Truly....your body treats 500 calories of broccoli the same as 500 calories of ice cream. Certain types of calories are not harder to burn up, etc., it's only what the media wants you to believe. Allowing yourself whatever you want is also a great way to prevent binging/purging, which is common for some people in recovery from anorexia to turn to if they aren't allowing their bodies enough calories, or the foods that they naturally want. As you approach your normal healthy weight, you should focus on how many calories you need each day to prevent weight loss, and within that, you should allow yourself a wide variety of food that you truly like and enjoy, and don't deprive yourself of any certain food. Congratulations once again, and good luck in your future healthy life!!