How I grew up certainly played a role in how I viewed my world, myself, and the people around me. But what played a bigger role … was when I finally came to the realization and conviction that my behavioral choices and self-defeated thinking were getting me nowhere, and in fact, were keeping me stuck in a place I didn’t want to be. I subconsciously was pushing people away and this spiraled me deeper into more self-disgust and more self-hatred. I was dying a slow death inside. Seeing myself as a victim of circumstance … a victim of others control and dominance, is what was really killing me.
Bulimia causes are varied and researchers cannot pinpoint one villain. People may be born with an inherited predisposition towards developing bulimia, particularly where addiction is in the genes. Environmental factors can contribute to triggering the onset of bulimia. These include peer pressures, family attitudes, the influence of the media creating a need for thinness, poor self-esteem and a lack of acceptance of self and body shape. As one sufferer explained, “bulimia was only a symptom of the inner turmoil I didn’t know how to verbalize.”
Persons with bulimia have low self esteem, negative self thoughts, extreme concern with body weight and shape, depressed feelings, and a sense of shame. They may be coping with identity questions, concerns about relationships, family problems, or past sexual abuse. They feel out of control and pursue thinness as a way to feel better. However, the consequent dieting and deprivation sets the stage for a binge, followed by a purge. The cycle repeats as the underlying problems have not been addressed.